You Don’t Need to Know the “Right” Type of Therapy

Many people come to therapy these days having already done a lot of thinking. I meet clients who have read articles, listened to podcasts, or had conversations with ChatGPT that helped them make sense of how they’re feeling or offered insights into behaviours that are challenging. Some even arrive thinking, “I need CBT,” or “ACT sounds like what I’m looking for.”

That makes a lot of sense. When something feels daunting - and the selection of a therapist can definitely feel that way - we naturally want clarity and a plan.

But therapy isn’t a process where the client needs to choose the correct service or plan in advance. CBT, ACT, and other approaches are simply ways therapists think about and support clients through the work of therapy — they’re certainly not something you need to pre-select before hand.

In fact, research suggest that what matters most isn’t the modality (which is the name therapists use for different therapy approaches) used, but the quality of the relationship that forms between therapist and client. The real healing is in the experience of being listened to carefully, without judgement, by someone who can notice patterns, ask thoughtful questions, and gently help you make sense of your own thoughts, emotions, behaviours and experiences at your own pace.

ChatGPT and other online resources can be a helpful place to start. They can give language to experiences that feel confusing or overwhelming. But what they cannot do is get to know you in the way another person can. Your story, your emotional world, and the things that only emerge once there’s trust and over time.

When you come to therapy, you don’t need to arrive with answers. You don’t need to know what approach you want or what kind of work you need to do. Your therapist will do that work, drawing on their training and experience, adjusting as they go, guided by what feels most supportive and most effective for you.

If you’re thinking about starting therapy, try to come with openness rather than a fixed plan. Bring your curiosity, your questions, and whatever you’ve already learned but allow the rest to unfold naturally in sessions, and let your therapist guide the way.

Photo by Todd Trapani on Unsplash